WHAT STYLEZ THINKS ABOUT => Bad Relationships! Who's to blame?
So What Does STYLEZ Think?
I was reading through some statuses on Facebook and came across a friend who stated:
I dont think men realize how much influence they have on the wellbeing of a woman. Is it a sense of immaturity or a case of ignorance? I hate seeing other women hurt when they don't have to be! No wonder why so many black women are excelling professionally and dating out of their race!
- my FB Friend
Of course, I had a comment and felt that something had to be said!
I'm just going to say, women need to stop messing with BOYS trying to play the role of a grown MAN! Age ain't nothing but a number, if you're actions can't attest to your maturity! That is the main problem with these “little boys lost”! I have to admit, there are a lot of "brothers" (black, white, Puerto Rican, Asian, and other) that are screwing up, but there are plenty that show up! It's like anything else in life; you are only going to hear the complaints. You rarely hear the accolades! Dating out your race is fine if love is what placed you there, but writing a race off because of the actions of a few is no way to live your life!
One thing PEOPLE need to learn to do is COMMUNICATE before they CONSUMMATE! Without understanding one another and REALLY getting to know your mate, before placing the trust of your heart & soul in that person, you set yourself up for failure! It's true some people are patient and do the right thing, and still get hurt; but 75 - 85% of the time, it’s that lack of patience and rushing things along that causes good people to have bad relationships! It is that lack of patience that buries us too deep, too fast! Love is a two way street. Be patient, let common sense guide you and you will be protected from MOST heartache! If a "boy" can't respect that, then you know you haven't found a "man" worthy of your heart!
WHAT STYLEZ THINKS ABOUT => Taking the Name! Should a woman change her name when she marries?
So What Does STYLEZ Think?
I was reading a post from my blog sister, Sunny Delyte, and she posed the two questions:
Fellaz, how would you feel if you soon-to-be wife didn’t want to take your name or hyphenate her name?
Ladies, would you take your soon-to-be husband’s last name? If not, why?
Before I was married I felt that I wanted my wife to take my last name. Like you, I was thinking of tradition. I think also that because of religious teachings, the woman and man become one, and essentially the man is the head of the household, so the household get's his name. But now that I'm in the "real world" (LOL!), I realize there's other ways to do it.
What is really in a name? And that is the question that goes to how the decision should be made. In some cases, a woman may have a career or reputation built around her name. Should she have to sacrifice that because of marriage. True, she could change the name legally, but maintain the former name in common usage. But how do you draw that line. Or as the previous commentor mentioned, what if the name is sentimental. Or worse yet, what if the husband's name is god-awful! LOL! I had a classmate that got married and she was undecided because her husband had a very long polish name that started with Z! So can you really blame her!?
In my marriage, my wife uses my name in common usage, however, her legal name is still her maiden name. It's satisfactory to me (although, I do tease her sometimes that she's using a fake name, but believe me, its all in fun), and it allows her to continue to honor her own father. I think, in the "real world", you have to be sensitive to the wants and needs of your partner. If you, as a woman, are adamant about keeping your last name, I say keep it. Because, when it all comes down to it, your legal name should not affect your love for each other.
That is what Stylez thinks! What do you think? Please comment, or go over to Sunny's Spoken Words & Thoughts to see what they're saying!
WHAT STYLEZ THINKS ABOUT => Lydia Cotton's "For Colored Girls Who Considered Scapegoating" VLog
Make sure you watch the video above...
So What Does STYLEZ Think?
WOW! She is keeping it SUPER REAL! I love this video. It's actually pertinent to women AND men. Men can really learn from this too. And everything she said about Tyler Perry is SO ON POINT! Tyler Perry is THE WORSE thing that's ever happened to black people! I mean I can understand one, two, MAYBE three movies, but EVERY MOVIE profits off of negative stereotypes!
And after watching the video, I read the comments (check out the ones here too where I originally found this vid). There were quite a few people that agreed with her, as I did. But there were so many caught up on her comments about having nothing but good relationships. The people that were commenting on her "leaving good relationships" are TOTALLY missing the point! A good relationship doesn't mean it's supposed to last forever! Having a good relationship doesn't mean it should lead to marriage. A good relationship just means it was healthy, drama free and either mutually beneficial or leads to personal growth!
She apparently has enough common sense to either know what real love is, know when a person is in your life for only a season or had an incompatibility with a person and felt it was too big to settle. That's STRENGTH! If MORE people would have a clue about how a relationship should be, they could say the same thing she's saying! I can also safely say that all of my relationships were good relationships. And guess what, I only got married ONCE! And not to the woman in my first "good relationship"! Anyway, all-in-all, I think she is offering a lot of sound and good advice. It is a very touchy, but real subject that needs to be addressed, from both sides. And I am glad someone so eloquent and level-headed has brought it to the forefront!
That is what Stylez thinks! What do you think? Please comment and state your case!
STYLEZ on Menage A Talks Radio Show - "Kiss & Run: Commitment Phobia & Single Women"
I was recently a Guest Panelist on the Menage A Talks Internet Radio Show on Blog Talk Radio! We discuss women and commitment phobia. And we attempt to answer some hard hitting questions like:
- How can you tell if a woman you're dating is a commitment phobe?
- Is there really no "good men" out there?
- Is it possible to find an equal balance between career and relationships?
- and more!
WHAT STYLEZ THINKS ABOUT => Same Sex Marriage!
I was going through some posts and news stories on the internet and of course, with the news about Same Sex Marriage laws possibly being overturned, the Topic Of The Day was ... Same Sex Marriage! And of course, everybody had an opinion! Well, of course, I had to chime in!
I don't believe its right for me and it goes against my beliefs! BUT I am not about to bring judgement upon those who do it! It trips me out to hear people throwing out the "I go by GOD", "I do what GOD says", "GOD is not going to like it", blah, blah, blah. But those are the SAME people SINNING too! Eating in excess; Gambling (lottery too); getting drunk; smoking; pre-marital sex & adultery; dating multiple people; doing drugs (and yes, weed IS a drug); not going to regular religious services; participating in, practicing and/or willingly watching unrighteous activities (like those rap videos, most movies, violent sports and entertainment, etc)! Those are ALL unacceptable and most are SINS against GOD! None of us are perfect! Jesus said that "he WITHOUT sin cast the first stone"!!! Well all you stone throwers need to check yourselves again before you get "high & mighty" against homosexuals. EVERYONE will have to answer for their sins, heterosexuals TOO!
That is what Stylez thinks! What do you think? Please comment!
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Willie StylezGOOGLE ME! BLOGGER, Techie, husband, father, granddad, businessman & Music lover!
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