Ask Willie Stylez - The Posts

 

WHAT STYLEZ THINKS ABOUT => Where will Love take you!?

Love-quotes

One of my blog sisters, Ms Nikks, recently (well about an hour ago, as I write this), wrote a post where she asked, in so many words:

Do you think you can love two people at the same time?

It was based on a quote she read:

If you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second."

So What Does STYLEZ Think?

That's a hard one! I have to say, he is partially right. I would have to say, you didn't love the 1st AS MUCH AS YOU THOUGHT, or you wouldn't have loved the 2nd. BUT, as Nikks brought out, I think it IS possible to love 2 people! You have to think about, what love is, and what makes people love one another. Love isn't a set, static, clearly defined thing! It is a dynamic emotion, shaped by life, by experience, by choices made and regrets of the heart. Love cannot be directed, sometimes it just attaches! And if you find that you are in love with 2, then you have to find what "Love Is" to you. Is it comfort, is it stabilty, is it excitement, etc. It is not easy, and there may be heartbreak at some point. But if you truly know what love is to your heart, it makes it easier to decide. Love is not easy. And you can't control where it may lead you. But YOU have to make that final decision of where you end up!

That is what Stylez thinks! What do you think?

Filed under: Love opinion realtalk
 

WHAT WILLIE STYLEZ THINKS ABOUT => "What Comes First?" via Ms. Nikks
Do you think your spouse should come before your children or your children should come before your spouse? Do you think they can share the spot and everyone can come out on top?
via nikksd.wordpress.com

The above question was posed, along with the list a Christian (or church) marriage counselor gave as a list of people who hold importance in your life:
1. God
2. Spouse
3. Kids
4. Everything else...

Well, you know Willie Stylez had to answer the question!

Another blogger, TheDLife, stated a GREAT case for why they would put GOD and then THEMSELVES first! I loved TheDLife's response very much, so I would have to say my list goes as follows:

1. GOD
2. ME
3. Wife
4. Kids
5. Ext Family/Close Friends
6. Everything Else

I commented that why I chose #2 to be me is:

"The fact that we forget ourselves in the equation is POWERFUL! I have told people, time and again, that they must be happy and fulfilled by themselves before they can make someone else happy in a relationship with them!" I have to be right with myself, and have improved (and continue to improve) myself before I can be of any worth to my wife, kids, etc.

I put my wife above my kids only because, in front of GOD, I declared an everlasting love and commitment to my wife! I also declared, by default and following HIS guidance, that I would:

"Train up a child in the way he should GO; even when he is old he will not depart from it."

And then

"a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh"

So because I am ONE FLESH with my wife, and I feel that my children will learn from my teaching and go out and become one flesh with their own spouses, then I have done my job for them! I am not saying I will stop loving and assisting them, but I have to let them go and let them lead their own lives!

We get so caught up in that VERY SHORT 18-years we have a child with us, that we forget the LIFETIME we're supposed to spend with our spouse. It's true, marriage is not guaranteed (especially in these horrible times) BUT if you truly work at making the marriage and family successful, then it can be! It's sad that many marriages end because of that "stranger-danger" (the problem of spouses becoming "strangers" because they spend so much time taking care of kids/career/etc and forget to take care & continue to know their spouse)! But it's avoidable if you put the work into sharing the family workload, as well as share in the work of being ONE FLESH!

My wife and I make it a point to talk about our day, our lives, our fears/goals/dreams, we go out on dates (together, of course, LOL) and take a (no kids) vacation each year, among other things. That way we can connect and re-connect on a regular basis. All the while, as we raise our family!

That's what Stylez thinks! What do you think?

Filed under: Love children family marriage opinion realtalk religious
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