Ask Willie Stylez - The Posts

How many of us really have TIME to be a good Mentor?

This was a poll and at the time, 46% said they had the time, 15% said they didn't, 31% said only if the mentee was seeking relevant professional help and 8% were undecided!!! That's 23% of people who either wouldn't give their time or didn't know if they would have time to mentor someone! Keep in mind, these are answers given by PROFESSIONALS! People with good jobs, working for great corporations! That's a sad state of affairs I think!

So What Does STYLEZ Think?

I agree with the 46%, and I think that it doesn't take A LOT of time, because you don't have to dedicate an entire workday to being a mentor. But also I must say, it is a two-way street! There must be commitment from both parties, the mentor and the mentee, in order to add value! When I was younger, I had a mentor who spent about an hour a day (two hours on one day each week) helping me with life lessons and providing support for whatever activities I was invovled in. That was beneficial to me for the lessons I learned and the attributes I gained such as supporting others, caring and professionalism. It was beneficial for my mentor's time because I actually listened and applied the lessons and advice he gave me! The thing is, you don't always have to seek out a person to mentor and go to a special place, like my mentor did. Sometimes, being a mentor is just about helping and guiding the people around you that need your expertise and experience. It's about providing sound advice when asked and taking a few minutes out your day to lend a hand to person who needs your help! I try to do that with anyone I come across, because I wouldn't be where I am if someone had not done that for me! Get involved, lend a hand, give back, be sounding board, whatever it takes, because believe me, if you don't provide the positive; there's someone MORE THAN WILLING to give that person the negative! And that would be a sad state of affairs, indeed!

That is what Stylez thinks! What do you think!? Let me know!

So What Does Stylez Think?

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I was on Facebook this EARLY morning and ran into a quote on a friend's status:

"If you can't solve it, it's not a problem--it's reality." -B. Colorose

Now, I may not fully understand what this means. And I surely don't know who "B. Colorose" is in order to put the quote into perspective. But at first (and second) read, I knew I had a problem with this quote.

In my estimation, it almost sounds like it's saying "if YOU can't figure it out, just give up and settle!!!" But that is not always true in life. Sometimes people need to just look for external resources, the help/advice/inspiration of other people, and to keep looking for solutions or ways to adapt! Adapting is not giving up, it is the solution of working with what you have available! And that is one thing people need to realize, you may not be successful in your current situation; but if you adapt then use your current situation as a catapult, you can still excel and be successful!

I have never been one to settle for what was given to me, unless I was satisfied. Satisfaction in life, love, family, career, etc, should be of the utmost importance. But just accepting something as "it's reality" or "it is what it is", is no way to live life!

That is what Stylez thinks! What do you think?

I think the following email I received would have been a fitting piece in my series on AGE that I just finished. Take a look at this wonderful post that I received from my good friend, Clarence Clavon! It's definitely written by someone who has EMBRACED THEIR AGE and found Wisdom (and some great experiences) in their LIFETIME!

Too many people put off something that would bring them joy just because they have not planned for it, don't have it on their schedule, didn't know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine.

I was thinking one day about all of those people on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night in an effort to cut back. From then on, I've tried to be a little more flexible. How many women out there will eat at home because their husband didn't suggest going out to dinner until "after" something had been thawed? Does the word 'refrigeration' mean anything to you? Cook it tomorrow! How often have your kids dropped in "to talk" and they sat "in silence" while you watched 'Jeopardy' on television or a football game? I cannot count the times I called a girlfriend and said , 'How about going to lunch in a half hour?' She would choke up and stammer, 'I can't". I have clothes in the washer. My hair is dirty. I wish I had known yesterday, I had a late breakfast, It looks like rain' And my personal favorite: 'I'm too tired.' My friend died a few years ago. We never did have lunch together. She never found the "time".

Because Americans cram so much into their lives, we tend to even "schedule" our headaches.. We live on an unrealistic diet of promises we make to ourselves to do "when all the conditions are perfect"? We promise ourselves to go back and visit the grandparents when we get Chris toilet-trained. We'll entertain our friends when we replace the living-room carpet. We'll go on a weekend get away or a second honeymoon when we get the kids out of college.

Life has a way of accelerating as we get older. The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer. One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of 'I'm going to,' 'I plan on,' and 'Someday, when things are settled down a bit. and "where are all my family and friends"?'

When anyone calls my 'seize the moment' friend, she is open to adventure and available for trips. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for five minutes, and you're ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of Rollerblades and skip an elevator for some stairs.. Her number one priority is to Keep God the center of her life.

My lips had not touched ice cream in 10 years. I love ice cream. It's just that I might as well apply it directly to my stomach with a spatula and eliminate the digestive process. The other day, I stopped the car and bought a triple-decker. If my car had hit an iceberg on the way home, I would have died happy.

Now...go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT to...not something on your SHOULD DO list. If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? So, why are you waiting?

Have you ever watched kids playing ball or listened to the rain lapping on the ground? Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight or gazed at the sun into the fading night? Do you run through each day on the fly? When you ask 'How are you?' Do you really hear the reply?

When the day is done, do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running through your head? How often have you told your child or your mate, 'We'll do it tomorrow.' And in your haste, not see their face full of sorrow? Ever lost touch with yourself and life? Always too busy and let a good friendship die? Too busy to Just call to say 'Hi'?

When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift from God. Thrown away.... Life is not a race. Learn to take it slower. Hear the music, smell the roses, listen to the rain drops learn to enjoy each minute, hour, day, and year before it is too late, before your song is over.

“Life may not be the party we hoped for... but while we are here, we might as well enjoy the dance!”

"Sometimes we are so busy adding up our troubles that we don't have time to count our blessings.

Proverbs 4:6. "Forsake not Wisdom, and she will keep, defend, and protect you. Love her and she will guard you.

Proverbs 4:7, 8, 9, &10. The beginning of Wisdom is: get Wisdom (skillful & Godly Wisdom). And with all you have gotten, get understanding. Prize Wisdom highly and exalt her, and she will exalt and promote you, she will bring you to honor when you embrace her. She will give to your head a wreath or gratefulness, a crown of beauty and glory will she deliver to you. Hear, O my son, and receive my sayings, and the years of your life shall be many.

A series on AGE by Willie Stylez
(Inspired by Mr. Tramuel at http://mrtramuel.wordpress.com)

Definition of AGE (according to Merriam-Webster)

1.   the time of life at which some particular qualification, power, or capacity arises or rests (the voting age is 18); specifically : majority 
2.   one of the stages of life 
3.   the length of an existence extending from the beginning to any given time (a boy 10 years of age)
4.   lifetime
5.   an advanced stage of life

Age is such a relative term! I am AT AN AGE where I feel wise, humble, tolerant and successful. But MY AGE is an ever increasing number; technically I get older minute-by-minute, day-by-day! Unfortunately, with each passing second, I don’t seem to noticeably grow any wiser, my humbleness doesn’t get any more apparent, I don’t display any additional tolerance, and I don’t find any additional successes in those short moments. All of those attributes, and GIFTS OF AGE (as I shall call them), take time! Luckily, it doesn’t take a LIFETIME! But it does take an ADVANCED STAGE OF LIFE to achieve, or continue to gain those gifts of age! As some get older, they shun their age. They don’t look to the future; they look back on the past. I feel that I had a great life in the past. I enjoyed my early youth (hey, I think I am still in my youth)! But in order to truly gain and appreciate the gifts of age, you have to embrace it. And with that, I EMBRACE MY AGE.

Read the rest of this post »

Part 5 of 5 in a series on AGE by Willie Stylez
(Inspired by Mr. Tramuel at http://mrtramuel.wordpress.com)

Everyone wants to be happy. Everyone wants to be rich, or at least financially stable. Everyone wants to have good friends and maybe even a great family. Some people even want to have a dream career! Whatever the case may be for our wants, needs and dreams, all these things can be attributed to our view of success. I don’t feel that just one of those desires can make a person successful. I think that achieving your goals and gaining some (or all) of your desires is what brings success to mind. Therefore, in order to achieve such successes, a person has to collect all the necessary attributes, experiences, wisdom, tolerance and maybe even a sprinkle of humbleness!

With age, a person grows their attitudes and their habits, and hopefully all those align in such a way that they become a person desirable to others. Desirable in work, love, family and friendship. With age, a person learns how to interact with others. With age, a person learns to achieve goals and get things done. With age, a person has experiences that shape who they are and what they will become. It is not an overnight process, it takes years. And with that time, a person is able to get through this life and make the decisions necessary to be successful.

To gain the friendships they can cherish for years to come. To achieve a level in their career, that can make it fulfilling. To get to that point in life where you are happy with yourself, and become a treasure to others! That is the time in life where experience and life lessons will seem to come together! When you can get to that age, and say “Look, I made it, I’ve come this far and I am better off (and successful) for having done it”, it’s at that moment, when YOU can embrace your age!

Thank you for going on this journey with me, as I explored AGE and some of the important aspects of it. Embrace your age, embrace your trials, embrace your experiences, embrace this thing we call life!

To read my series in it's entirety, check out my next post. FIN!

Part 4 of 5 in a series on AGE by Willie Stylez
(Inspired by Mr. Tramuel at http://mrtramuel.wordpress.com)

Growing up in a poor, black neighborhood, on the west side of Detroit, you get exposed to “a culture”. Unfortunately, it is a self-centered culture. You don’t learn anything, or feel that there is anything, outside of that culture. But as part of my journey, through my travels, through my education and through my thirst for knowledge, I learned that we live in a world rich with culture and diversity. I learned that other cultures, religions, sexes, ways-of-life and people in general have a right to be respected. I have gained a tolerance for religions and cultures no matter how different from my own they are. They are still able to provide knowledge and tradition that I surely can’t gain by shunning and shutting them out. In all my years, I have learned so much from so many people of this world, that it has made me a much stronger and wiser individual. But it took that time, and that culmination of energies to get to that point. The older I’ve gotten, the more I’ve been able to appreciate and use that knowledge and those experiences. And with that I embrace my age.

To be continued...

See Part 1 here at http://mrtramuel.wordpress.com

Part 3 of 5 in a series on AGE by Willie Stylez

(Inspired by Mr. Tramuel at http://mrtramuel.wordpress.com)

I didn’t grow up rich, or in a nice neighborhood. I think I had my fair share, if not more than my fair share, of struggle. Early on, you could have said I was humble, but I didn’t even know what that meant. I just dealt with what life gave me. Until I got to that age, where I knew more, wanted more and did more to try to get better things. I worked hard and made a way out. But as I got older and realized that I may have had a hard life by my standards & definition, but there are others who suffer. As I traveled, as I went to school and as I interacted with more people in different situations and cultures, I gained a humbleness that just being poor didn’t provide. I gained the insight to a bigger picture, to understand the world revolves around no man. We are here to help and advance one another. To help our fellow human being, pull themselves up from the bootstraps and move mountains! That is the humbleness I gained with experiences I had throughout my life. And with that I embrace my age.

To be continued...

See Part 1 here at http://mrtramuel.wordpress.com

Part 2 of 5 in a series on AGE by Willie Stylez
(Inspired by Mr. Tramuel at http://mrtramuel.wordpress.com)

Growing up, my dad always said he had a special power… he called it “mother wit”. Mother wit is technically another name for common sense. It is something most people feel that we are either born with or attain at an early age. Now wisdom is an attribute that we’ve come to know is gained from increasing knowledge and experience. As time has pressed on, I think I have shown an innate ability to exercise mother wit, but I think through all the trials, all the good times, all the bad, is how I gained my wisdom! It has taken years to experience the loves, the hates, the awkward moments, the adventures in life! And with that I embrace my age.

To be continued...

See Part 1 here at http://mrtramuel.wordpress.com